Dirty Jokes
Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 6:59 pm
This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionalism goes right out the window...
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"
_______________________________________________________________________________
A man's wife was stood at the front door with her suitcase.
She said to him, "I'm leaving you because of your strange sexual requests."
He replied : "That's fine, can you slam the door on my cock on your way out ?"
_____________________________________________________________________________________
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. A couple months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."
He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.
"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?
"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.
He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."
Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"
She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"
_______________________________________________________________________________
A man's wife was stood at the front door with her suitcase.
She said to him, "I'm leaving you because of your strange sexual requests."
He replied : "That's fine, can you slam the door on my cock on your way out ?"
_____________________________________________________________________________________
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. A couple months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"
Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] "Unh unh."
Sorry, I'm naturally this warped.